A Journey of Language, Growth, and Autism Perspectives: Stephen’s Evolution

Clearing space outside reflecting change happening within us

• Stephen McHugh • Episode 56

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A slightly shorter episode on this occasion, where I reflect on what it means to clear space. It was inspired by clearing an overgrown hedge trimmed in my garden, and what it taught me about confidence, growth, and making space for myself. Because sometimes, growth, I believe, can start with pulling out what’s in the way.  

It was also where I started noticing some unexpected parallels with my own confidence and self-worth. Sometimes the outside work mirrors the inside work.

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Thanks for listening. You can find me on my website stephensevolution.com, or on twitter here. You can sign up to receive news of new episodes when they're released here.


Artwork produced by Elena Designe
Music composed by Nela Ruiz

Stephen McHugh:

Hi there, and welcome back to another episode of the Stephen's Evolution podcast. I'm Stephen McHugh, your host, and it is in this podcast where I talk about my autistic lived experiences, by aiming to bring them to life through metaphors. Just a quick note before I get the episode underway. This episode will include reflections on self-confidence and personal growth. I'll be using gardening as a metaphor. It does not go into anything distressing, but, as always, please take care while listening and pause as and when you feel you may need to.

Stephen McHugh:

This week's episode is going to be a little bit shorter than usual, and the metaphor in question is 'Clearing space to grow personally', and that I have recently found surprisingly powerful. The mess outside can mirror the mess inside. But also, and more importantly, is the matter of how clearing it can change more than you think, and enable you to see that you're more capable than you think you are.

Stephen McHugh:

At the back of the garden where I live, there was a hedge that we as a family deemed to be overwhelming. Well, it looked overwhelming. It had grown tall and got a bit out of control to our liking. It was decided for it to be chopped down to a certain size. And then there was the matter of clearing it all up. It was taking up lots of space in the garden. It looked messy and, frankly, this scenario, from my liking, looked overwhelming.

Stephen McHugh:

But then, as time went on, it kind of felt like a strange parallel with how I have sometimes felt about myself. Over time, well, in times gone by, I thought about how things would get too much like, too tangled, and others only may see the overgrowth, not the root of why it may be like that or may have been like that. That is metaphorically speaking.

Stephen McHugh:

Anyway, back to clearing the hedge. This is a true thing, the clearing it took weeks. It was a slow process with lots of physical work and honestly, I had moments where I thought what am I achieving doing this? But here's the thing. Not only did it make the garden feel lighter and more usable and create more space. It also saved us quite possibly many hundreds of pounds, because no one was hired to come in and do it. And then something else came to me. When I think about it, I wasn't just clearing the hedge, that was, or part of the hedge that was, cut down. That we well, we cut down. What I was proving to myself in clearing it up, was it reminded me that I have managed to handle tough situations in the past which have helped me in my personal growth, like in improving my language skills and communication skills. In addition, the fact that no money was spent on hiring any people to come in and clear the hedge that was cut down, or part of it that was cut down, or rely on someone else to do something I was capable of, even if it took time.

Stephen McHugh:

When I look at it now, it helps me to feel that I was competent, and to have more confidence in my ability, like, maybe, things I sometimes in the past have doubted about myself. It helps me to understand that I'm not as out of control as I sometimes feel. Well, the way I look at it is, it helps me to feel more confident in my ability to tackle things that may seem overwhelming. Well, it reminded me of times when I've successfully tackled things successfully. That's what's helped me to feel good about myself here.

Stephen McHugh:

Besides the clearance of the hedge that I did, other tasks in the garden that I have done include mowing the lawn, pulling out weeds around the patio and growing around like the side of the house. These were all smaller jobs, but I felt they were still part of the same process by making the place look tidier, and more welcoming and less overwhelming. They've reminded me of that. Confidence isn't just about big transformations. It taught me that it can be the quiet maintenance, the smaller ways we may care for ourselves, the time we may take to notice what needs doing, including what may need clearing, and what deserves to stay.

Stephen McHugh:

The more work I did outside, the more I started to feel better inside, or, in other words, feel better about myself. Even more, I feel it showed that I could make decisions about what may need to be done, like taking the initiative, and being bold about it. The way I look at it was, it was because I'd made space. When clearing the hedge, I'd spend about an hour or two doing it, cutting back the greenery first and then cutting up the wood, and creating certain sized piles and work of like branches, and work through them one by one. It didn't need to be perfect from my liking.

Stephen McHugh:

The way I looked at it was I'd made more space, I'd done my bit to make it look more presentable and for any people to spend time in, playing any games they wanted to, or run around having fun.

Stephen McHugh:

And so, to conclude, if you're listening to this episode, and you may be feeling overwhelmed or not great about yourself, then maybe there's a hedge in your life that's ready to be cleared.

Stephen McHugh:

It's not going to happen overnight, and to you it might seem overwhelming and exhausting. However, in the process, what you might find is, as you clear the hedge, well, metaphorically speaking, you might end up finding that you're capable of more than you may have initially thought.

Stephen McHugh:

Thank you for listening. If you wish to stay updated on newly released episodes or any other podcast related news, then head over to a link towards the footer of the homepage of my website, stephensevolution. com, where you'll find a 'Stay In the Loop Link'. You can also text the podcast using the link in the episode description. I'm always on the lookout for your questions and comments to respond to.

Stephen McHugh:

Until next time, here's to clearing space, finding confidence in yourself and letting your own garden and yourself grow..