A Journey of Language, Growth, and Autism Perspectives: Stephen’s Evolution

Flowing Along Life's Unexpected Turns

• Stephen McHugh • Episode 57

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A short and personal birthday reflection - on changing plans, making wiser choices, and going along with life's unexpected turns.

Inspired by a Saturday parkrun that didn't quite go according to plan, I decided to do a solo run alongside a local canal. The aim of this episode is to explore how adaptability can feel less like compromise, and more like 'reading the river'.

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Thanks for listening. You can find me on my website stephensevolution.com, or on twitter here. You can sign up to receive news of new episodes when they're released here.


Artwork produced by Elena Designe
Music composed by Nela Ruiz

Stephen McHugh:

Hi there, and welcome back to another episode of the Stephen's Evolution podcast. I'm Stephen McHugh, your host, and it is in this podcast where I talk about my lived experiences with autism, by aiming to bring them to life through metaphors. This episode is another short one, like last time, and partly because it's summer here in the UK, well, the Northern Hemisphere. And of course, we're all into longer days, plus, with the days being longer, there'll likely be more time to spend outdoors and on leisure activities and with friends and family. In addition, at the time of recording, it's also been my birthday recently. That has got me thinking about the year just gone. On each birthday, our age increases by one.

Stephen McHugh:

Now that I've decided to share one small reflection, rather than a long list of lessons, which would be life lately has felt like a river in the summer. The rivers that flow when you think about them. They don't always flow fast, sometimes they flow slowly and calmly, and sometimes they're meandering. At other times they can be muddy. When the river is flowing slower, it can be harder to read, but there's one thing that's obvious to us they keep on moving around rocks, stones, plants or anything else that may be coming up through the water, thus creating new paths for the water to flow, like alternative paths if required. And that's how a recent experience has felt. Not linear, not always fast, I mean. What I mean is the past year hasn't always felt not always fast, but the important thing for me is, it's always been in motion and still is, even when it feels like, on occasions when progress, when it like, isn't noticeable.

Stephen McHugh:

A little over a week ago, I went to my local park run, like I have been doing for over a year. It's become a routine for me on Saturday. I got there. However, as soon as I arrived, like when I got to the main car park, after going along a road through the park leading up to it, to the car park, I could see people turning around. The main one was full. The usual overflow parking area happened to be closed on this occasion. I likely guessed it was too wet and soft, especially after the night before when it had rained very heavily for a while. For me, the reason was likely ground preservation. But here's the birthday reflection that comes in here.

Stephen McHugh:

Even if the gate to this overflow area had been open, I would have likely decided against going in there. I wasn't comfortable with the idea of getting stuck or leaving a mess. It wouldn't have likely been wise, however tempting it might have been. It reminds me of that phrase a year older, a year wiser. As the years go by, the way I think about it is you get more knowledge, wisdom, and you become more wise through experience. Instead, I had to have an alternative plan. I decided to drive back home, since there wasn't any parking readily available on neighbouring streets.

Stephen McHugh:

Fortunately, I have a local canal near my home, which has a path running alongside it. There, I did my own 5k along the water. One difference was no crowds, and therefore no cheering. However, there were other people running alongside it as well, with other people going out on leisurely strolls, and even walking their dogs. Besides me and the other people on the path of the canal, it was also the calmness of the canal, and the sound of my own footsteps, the footsteps of other people, and maybe a dog or two barking. It wasn't exactly the run I had planned when I think about it, but when I look at it, it helped me to feel better. I managed to complete the 5k run alongside the canal in about the time it would have taken me to do the park run.

Stephen McHugh:

I was reminded that adaptability can be gentle, even wise. When I think about it now, no river argues with a bend. It just goes in the direction in which the river path is like, like in how it was carved out, or any stones that are above the water or plants growing above it that force it to deviate in a different direction. Maybe for me, that's one of the most valuable knowledge of this year, and that we can all learn. It can be about learning to stop forcing things, and try and read well, try and read the current. When I think about it, wisdom can show us when it comes to being forced to do something a little bit differently, than you otherwise normally do that particular thing.

Stephen McHugh:

And so that's my short birthday reflection. It is to go with the flow, like as a quiet kind of wisdom. A river doesn't always flow fast, it may flow slow, it may change directions depending on what's in its way in the water. However, it always finds a way forward, which is most important for me.

Stephen McHugh:

And now to you, my listeners, what plans have you had to change recently or at any time, and did the new path surprise you? If so, how I'd be interested in hearing your version of the bend in a river. I'm always on the lookout for any questions or comments that may be posted by you. You can do this by texting the podcast via a link in the episode description. Thank you for taking the time to listen to this short episode with me today. I'll be back again in two weeks.

Stephen McHugh:

Until then, stay kind, stay curious and keep flowing.